Apocalyptic Rhubarb Crumble

In the face of impending doom, there's nothing quite like a comforting rhubarb crumble to savor the last moments of existence. This recipe combines the tartness of rhubarb with the sweetness of a crumbly topping, providing a final taste of solace before the end of the world.

Ingredients:

For the Filling:

• 4 cups rhubarb, washed and chopped into 1-inch pieces
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch

For the Crumble Topping:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cubed

Instructions:

1. Prepare the Filling:

   • Preheat your makeshift oven to 350°F (175°C), or the closest temperature approximation you can manage.
   • In a large bowl, combine the chopped rhubarb, granulated sugar, lemon juice, and cornstarch. Toss until the rhubarb is evenly coated. Allow the mixture to sit for about 15 minutes to let the flavors meld.
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2. Make the Crumble Topping:

   • In a separate bowl, combine the all-purpose flour, oats, brown sugar, ground cinnamon, and salt. Mix well.
   • Add the cold cubed butter to the dry mixture. Using your hands or a fork, work the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. This might be a good time to reflect on the crumbling state of the world.
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3. Assemble and Bake:

   • Transfer the rhubarb filling into a suitable baking dish or tin. If you can find any cooking spray, it might help prevent sticking.
   • Evenly sprinkle the crumble topping over the rhubarb mixture, covering it entirely. Pat down gently to create a rustic, apocalyptic landscape on top.
   • Place the baking dish in your makeshift oven and bake for approximately 40-45 minutes or until the crumble topping is golden brown and the filling is bubbling.
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4. Serve and Reflect:

   • Remove the rhubarb crumble from your oven, taking care to avoid any non-heat-resistant gear you've managed to cobble together.
   • Let the crumble cool for a few minutes before serving. If you have any last remnants of ice cream or whipped cream, now might be the time to indulge.
   • As you savor each bite of the sweet-tart rhubarb crumble, take a moment to reflect on the journey of humanity and the memories you hold dear. Life may be ending, but at least you've ended it with a delectable dessert.

Remember, even in the darkest of times, food can bring comfort and a sense of connection. Enjoy your apocalyptic rhubarb crumble as you face the unknown future. -L & Chuck